October 4

How to better understand others?

difernt-perspective

 

I’ve promised you before I would create a a creative corner at home and I did. Here is the proof in the picture bellow. Let’s see what I’ll be creating soon…

creativecorner

 

One of my passions is art, especially painting. I always wanted to paint since I was a little girl, but only after being a mother I decided it was time to bring this desire out of my heart and put my hands to work. Since then I’ve finished several paintings and have a couple more unfinished…

 

While I was organizing my creative corner, I was moving my last painting, Goddess of Nature, to another part of the room and, casually, faced it to the mirror. Suddenly I saw something different…

godessof-nature

The painting in the mirror looked different. How could this be? I looked at the painting and it looked as I had painted it, but when I put it again facing the mirror it looked a different painting. The difference between the right and left side of the Goddess was very clear, they were actually very different. How could I not see that when I look at it through my eyes? However I could see it clearly when looking through the ‘mirror’s eyes’. Then I remembered that I was seeing things on my own unique way, as seeing it through a ‘filter’.

 

This happens too with our perspective on life. Each of us experience life events through our own perspective, influenced by our own culture, our education, our environment, our beliefs and our life experiences.

 

That is why sometimes it is so hard to understand other people’s point of view. Something that, for us, is so obvious, someone takes a completely different approach to it. This is because we have different ‘filters’ and ‘see’ reality in our own unique way.

If you find this idea confusing, take a look to this example. Imagine a rainy, cold winter day. The sky is dark and cloudy and it hasn’t stop raining for the whole week. These are two different stories:

Story one: “ This is a terrible day. It’s raining again. I can’t stand it anymore. I need sunshine.I want to go to the beach. All sorts of  unhappy events seem to happen to me on these days.”

Story two: “ Oh! It’s raining. It’s been raining the whole week. The plants look so fresh and happy. I love this fresh weather and the smell of the wet soil. It gives me such a relaxing feeling. Oh and the best part, it’s weekend! I’ll chill out the whole day wrapped up in my soft blanket, reading a good book and watching a movie. Can this get better?”

The same circumstances and two completely different realities.

 

If these two perspectives are so different and we are only talking about a rainy day imagine if we were talking about any other thing in life.

 

Sometimes people argue and fight so their perspective or idea can be understood by others. But if we both understand that we are both seeing different perspectives of the same thing we can understand each other better.

 

One of the ways to best understand others and seeing things by their perspective is to ask questions: What is behind her action? Why does she think this way? Which life experiences, beliefs, cultural values are making this person have this reaction?

 

And when you find the answers to these questions you’ll start to understand. And when you start to understand you will start to see more, to see further, you get an amplified vision of the situation and you’ll grow.

And if you allow yourself to grow enough you will be able to embrace the others point of view and accept why they think and act this way.

 

And then you don’t need to argue anymore. Because you are there, you entered the other person’s heart and he feels your openness. You still have your own opinion, your own vision but now, renewed and expanded. You’ve matured and no one can take that realisation from you.

 

Every time you are so sure about an idea or belief remember, you are the one who is filtering your reality. Other people maybe have a completely different approach to the same problem.

 

To understand the other person you need to tune in and listen to your intuition and see her through the eyes of the heart.

 

Remember that there is very little right or wrong things in the world. It all depends on the perspective. We are all part of the same thing. We are here to experience each other and grow and expand from it.

 

Love is the only thing that is True. Is the one and only thing we can accept as a reality. All other life’s events are fantasy. A fantasy that we create in our own unique way.

 

Now, I would love to know from you. Did you have an experience that made you realise that the way you were seeing things were not as you thought they were? What made you realise this? Let me know below. The best part starts now with your thoughts. I love to read and answer your comments. 🙂

 

 

 

 

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  • As an English teacher here in Saudi, I always warn my students: when you take an English test in the USA, and the question is: “The weather is good today.”, the answer should be A. It’s sunny. not B. It’s rainy.

    Reply

  • For me it always helps to remember that other people are doing the same thing that I’m doing–we’re all doing what we think we need to do to be happy.

    I love the painting!

    Reply

    • On The spot, Michael! You made it so simple. Love it!
      Thank You for the compliment to my painting. You’re really kind. 🙂

      Reply

  • You are SO right, as always honey pie. We all react in different ways to different things. I always try to remember that everyone is going through a million different emotions for a million different reasons each day. We all need to try to recognise this.
    Your painting is SO SO beautiful – i so wish I could hang it next to my other painting of yours!!! I look at the other painting daily and think of you and when you gave it to me.
    Love you Ting

    Reply

    • Hi Ting! True, true, true. A million different emotions…And it is so wise of us when we are able to remember that and hold that space for the other person.

      Ahahaha, precious! Thank You!! It’s an honor to have one of my paintings in your house.Remember that it is blessing you always. :-)x

      Reply

  • Wow, well done Paula, yet again another very interesting post.
    I love the picture, you have an amazing talent that I am envious of, I was only saying recently how I wished I could paint or even draw!!

    Funny, also how the other day I was only thinking after having a discussion with Eric about something neither of us agreed on, & how we would argue about whatever it was & we would both think we were right… Then I got to thinking, well actually neither of us are right or wrong because actually neither of really know the right answer!! Is there ever a right answer & hey does it actually matter.. No, I don’t think it does!! yes, its all about listening, tuning in & following the heart … and I do that so much more this last year!!!

    Reply

    • Hi Janet! Thank You! Of course you can!! You only need to start. Remember when you started your Yoga classes? How brave you were? And look at you now, inspiring and helping so many people. Go for it. I can’t wait to see your creations! 🙂

      It is funny how we can get into the trap “I am right”. Well thought of you. Wise. 😉 Miss you. 🙂

      Reply

  • Paula
    You amaze me with all this. I really appreciate your insight into perspectives and how two people see things differently – clears things that one might not see themselves.
    God bless you with whatever you do.

    Reply

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