It has been a few months since I wrote my last post. I thought starting this post by apologising to you for that and present you with all the excuses I’ve been telling myself for not doing it: “I’m too busy with the kids”, “I need a couple of hours alone to do it and I never have that”, “the weekends are too busy with my husband at home”, blah blah blah…
But as I start to write these words I realise that the only person who I own an apology is to myself.
I’ve been refraining myself of doing something that gives me so much pleasure: making a warm cup of tea and write about my ideas, thoughts and newest realizations. Something that feels to me so empowering and so liberating at the same time. So, here and now, I say “I am sorry” to myself.
And now I’m going to be totally honest and share the truth about why I’m not writing more.
I’ve subconsciously realised this myself long ago, but the excuses I kept buying myself into were masking the great Truth: I was (I am) living in fear. Fear of expressing myself. I was not writing more with fear of being misunderstood, judged, scorned and rejected.
It is really hard for me to expose myself. But this fear is not justifiable. I started this blog back in 2009, because I wanted to share with my students all about Yoga wisdom and personal growth ideas that I was excited about and resonated with. Since then, I’ve always have had a wonderful feedback from them. Some of the messages I received even brought me into tears as I wouldn’t realise how my simple words could have such an impact in someone else’s life.
We need to remind ourselves everyday that our work matters and that we can make a difference.
No matter how much I love my children and my husband and want to be present in their lives, for sure they will have a better mother and wife if I am happy and fulfilled.
It doesn’t matter if some people don’t resonate with my words and reject me and my work. It is worthy for all of those whose heart I touch.
I now give myself permission to step into the power of my Soul and do the work I’m being called to do. I allow myself to be sovereign and to be in control of my personal being.
I created a space in my home for creation, creativity, writing and whatever my Soul wants to express. I now need to allow myself the time during the day (or week), a rhythm that allows me to share my work and give more of myself.
It’s a honour to be here writing this words for you. I feel the healing. And as I heal myself, I know I heal you too. That is what is so beautiful about being vulnerable and authentic: we heal others as we heal ourselves.
If lately, you have been absent to yourself, I hope this words inspire you to get, once and for all, in charge of your life. And no matter what your work is or how you feel about it. Remember this:
You are unique. There’s no one else in the world like You. With your experiences, your winnings, your loses, your moments of deep joy and connection, your suffering and all your life lessons made you who you are today. And there is a very unique way for you to share what you have and nobody else can do it as well as you.
To finish I leave you with one of my favourite quotes from the fabulous Ballet dancer Martha Graham:
“There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and it will be lost. The world will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is nor how valuable nor how it compares with other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open.”
Now, I would love to hear about your thoughts and insights on this. Do you struggle to share your gifts? Be open minded and honest. Let’s start a healing current here and now. 🙂
photo credits by: Kevin Lee